Conscious Relationships: A New Way to Love

By Xiomara A. Sosa

The conscious spirit requires an awareness of the spiritual world around us which occurs as we become more awakened spiritually and less distracted by the physical world. Awakening implies that we are self-identified as a spiritual being and not just as a physical entity. The path towards awakening includes an understanding that as spiritual beings we have direct access to our own spiritually.

Healing and well-being require an integrative approach. Integration is at the root of all healing. Not only must we heal our body, we must also heal our mind and our spirit. Psychological health is at the core of this healing which must include our mental, emotional, and behavioral health. This integration of our psychological health towards complete healing is our new way to love ourselves and, as a result, a new way to love humanity as a whole or a significant other.

These days so many people feel unhappy in their relationships. When habitual norms break down we tend to try to quickly replace them with anything that might bring back that feeling of happiness. The current trend is to attempt to replace what breaks down in our lives with a pursuit of a “conscious relationship.” We are doing this in droves as a way to find elusive happiness and love.

That seems like an ambitious goal to achieve. I say this because achieving a genuine conscious relationship requires us to experience a spiritual and personal growth that fully engages our spirit as a powerful tool in our own personal and intimate awakening process. Awakening is a necessary ingredient to achieve and to sustain a true conscious relationship—a new love.

In traditional relationships we focus on changing something about our partner to appease ourselves and our personal fulfillment. This takes our focus away from ourselves and puts it on someone else instead. Inevitably, we lose clarity on what we are as an individual in an effort to sustain the relationship.

In considering a new way to love, we must instead put the focus back on ourselves. We can do this by putting our energy on our own growth. This requires that we intently engage with our spirit and use it at this stage as a powerful tool in our own spiritual awakening process, however we choose to define it.

This new way to love requires that we focus on our personal growth by integrating our mental, physical, and spiritual health. This is at the core of a conscious relationship with ourselves and with another person. Our personal comfort zones must be let go.

Conscious relationships are not meant to be and will never be all sunbeams and sunshine. Most of us automatically presume that when something is wrong in the relationship, breaking it off and leaving is the appropriate response. While this may be true in some cases, that is not necessarily healthy and realistic.

Loving in this new way requires patience and commitment to our personal spiritual growth process. When both partners are committed to that it becomes a mutual effort to grow instead of a struggle to figure out what is wrong, win or leave. Expressing who we genuinely are requires that both partners understand that the relationship is not in danger of judgment from either partner.

A conscious relationship is fueled by love; love is not just a destination.

Xiomara A. Sosa is the founder of XAS Consulting, LLC DBA. She is an accomplished Clinical Mental Health Counselor, Psychotherapist, and Positive Psychology Coach providing services in private consultation. As a multicultural and integrative counselor, she works with mixed ages and genders, couples, families, groups, and is bilingual (Spanish).