How many times have you reacted to a situation and created “foot in mouth” disease? Having a reactive perspective can get you into trouble. An alternative to reacting is being responsive to a situation. If you breathe ten times before you say or act on something, you dissipate your reactive fleeting moment and come from a more balanced perspective.
This practice takes practice! If you have the courage to tell your truth with compassion, even though you may have doubts, you can take inspired action. Taking inspired action comes from your center and to be in your center you need to be balanced. Instead of laying blame, shaming yourself, or making excuses with your communication or actions, take responsibility.
Your ability to respond determines the quality of your life. It is freedom to choose to communicate from the place of owning your thoughts, beliefs, and actions. It takes courage to stand in your power and hold your integrity when you are faced with adversity. Many people may trigger you and pull you off your center; however, it takes courage to be authentic and true to yourself.
Courage equals commitment plus doubt plus action. The word courage comes from the French word “le coeur”—the heart. If you can stop and breathe and commit to telling your truth, even though you may want to lash out and have doubts whether people hear you or understand you, you can take inspired action with ease and balance.
Some people define balance as “what goes in goes out equally.” To have balance for some is to have balance in your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual aspects of self. You may feel balance is walking a tight rope and you could fall off anytime. No matter your definition, balance could be giving yourself the gift of responding in a compassionate way to yourself and others.
A great tool to use is a pattern interrupt. When you find yourself getting more and more reactive with someone, stop and say a funny phrase or word that you both agree on. At that point you both stop talking, go to your corners, breathe ten times slowly, and then come back.
The person who called the funny word starts first and says, “What I feel like saying is…” The other person just listens with no interruptions. Then the other person says what they want to say without interruptions. This way your communication is heard and your energy is dissipated and you can be balanced. Remember, breathe and be kind to yourself from all levels.